Stayed in bed till 1pm today. Just did not feel like getting out of bed.
Spent the whole day either on-line or watching VCD.
While I was on-line, found a new skin for my blog, did some tidying up, and also created a new blog in Xanga. That blog is meant for anyone. However, for this one, it has more personal stuff. So mainly only meant for me to read.
I got a real pleasant surprise from Fairuz just now. Knew him since we were in Nee Ann Polytechnic, year 1. A very close friend indeed. Always well updated about my life. Though at times we seems to lost touch, but when we catch up, we have so much to say to each other. Weird things is, we never go out or talk on phone even once. We were always chatting on-line only. However, today, he actually asked me to go watch movie with him next week. The current ghost show in cinema. Know about it but do not know the title though.
Sorry to disappoint you dude. I have something planned for next Saturday and Sunday already. So much for our planned first date. Promised to meet him the following weekend to catch the movie. If it is still on...
At 5pm, called him up. Wanted to ask if we are still going out. My call was diverted to the voicemail immediately. He has gone to Malaysia. He will never go Malaysia without informing me. But he just did. Tried calling afew times. When I finally got through, I knew he was back. He did not call me at all. Nor did he pick up my call... :( He called me back minutes later. Talked in a very unfriednly manner. It lead me to tear. I could stand it no more. Can you stop behaving this way??? I know I am wrong. I admit I should not have said all those hurting words to you. But I was just to upset then. Can you understand my feelings then? The thought of you going to leave me here alone is bad enough. Must you still rub salt into my wound and treat me this way?
I could not speak. He put down my phone. Called back again though. Asked him to stop talking that way. He refused. I was too hurt then. Did not want to let him know I am crying. Could not talk properly at all. We ended the call then.
Will he ignore me forever? ***Crys hard***
Been catching this VCD lately. Till now I do not know the title. Or rather, cannot be bothered to find out the title. Quite a sad story though. Watched till disc 10 already. So far, the story goes like this:
There was this Girl Z, who went for a heart transplant. The heart she had belongs to another girl Y who has passed away. Girl Y was the girlfriend of Guy A. The world is so small. Girl Z's boyfriend, Guy B's, sister, Girl X, fell in love with Guy A. They met while studying abroad. All 4 of them met. Whenever Girl Z and Guy A meet, her heat will beat even faster. The feeling whenever you meet someone special. As time move on, Guy A has developed feelings for Girl Z. She is well aware of it. To prevent herself from making any mistake, she decided to marry Guy B. However, on their wedding day, she collapsed. Wedding has to be postponed. Is it what you call fate? There is bound to be a mishap always.
All 4 of them, together with Girl W, Girl Z's sister, and Guy C, Guy A's friend, went to this resort for a holiday. A place to relax and unwind themselves. Girl Z sailed away alone. Worried about her, Guy A went to look for her. She scolded at him, asked him not to be so concerned about her ever again. He left. She later felt very regretful for treating him that way. Why must we humans be always like that? Regret what we did only after we did it. We never think of the feelings of the other person. How hurt they will be when we treat them that way. Have alot to say with regards to this topic. However, shall leave it to digress by myself.
What will happen in the end? Will Girl Z and Guy A be together eventually? What will happen to Guy B then? And also his sister. Look out for my blog to find out the answer.
Called me again while I was typing this. Talked to me nicely. But I still could not take it. I guess it is because I feel very guilty. Guilty of what I did to him. Said he will call me tomorrow. Will I be able to talk to him then? Feel like messaging him, telling him how guilty I am now and to stop treating me that way. But if he calls me then, how will I talk to him? I do not know how to answer him then. But I really want to let my feelings known to him now.
Is happiness always short-lived? We quarrelled once, not long ago. Then we were happy together again. As you can see from my previous blogs. Now this has to happen again. We always seem to have issues to quarrel over. Is this what you call love? Concern about the other party, fear of losing him, that is why we quarrel.
I guess I am right. I am just so afraid of losing my baby...
{&i'll hold on till the end of time-}
1:18 PM